What are the 5 Keys of Emotional Intelligence Skills.

5 Key Emotional Intelligence Skills

Emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as EI or EQ, is the ability to recognize, interpret, and regulate your own emotions, as well as those of other people. Emotional intelligence skills are abilities that allow for better emotional understanding and management.

Being emotionally intelligent is linked to a range of benefits, including higher academic achievement, better decision-making abilities, and greater overall success in life. Some experts even suggest that EQ might be more important than IQ, or intellectual intelligence.

What does it take to be emotionally intelligent? According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, who popularized and wrote extensively about the concept, there are five components. This article discusses what you can do to improve these critical emotional intelligence skills, thereby raising your EQ.

 How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?

1

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, and a critical emotional intelligence skill. Beyond the recognition of your emotions, it also includes being aware of the effect of your actions, moods, and emotions on others.

To become self-aware, you must be capable of monitoring your own emotions, recognizing different emotional reactions, then correctly identifying each particular emotion. Self-aware individuals also recognize the relationship between how they feel and how they behave.

When you are self-aware, you recognize your own strengths and limitations, are open to new information and experiences, and learn from your interactions with others. Goleman suggests that people who possess self-awareness have a good sense of humor, are confident in themselves and their abilities, and aware of how other people perceive them.

How to Improve Self-Awareness

• Ask for constructive feedback
• Keep a journal
• Learn new skills
• Meditate
• Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions
• Pursue your passions
• Practice mindfulness
• Reflect on your experiences
• Set goals
• Use positive self-talk
• Work on building a growth mindset
  

2

Self-Regulation

In addition to being aware of your own emotions and the impact you have on others, emotional intelligence requires you to regulate and manage your emotions.

This emotional intelligence skill doesn't mean putting emotions on lockdown and hiding your true feelings—it simply means waiting for the right time and place to express them. Self-regulation is all about expressing your emotions appropriately.

Those who are skilled in self-regulation tend to be flexible and adapt well to change. They are also good at managing conflict and diffusing tense or difficult situations.

People with strong self-regulation skills tend to be high in conscientiousness. They are thoughtful about how they influence others and take responsibility for their own actions.

How to Improve Self-Regulation

• Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings
• Build distress tolerance skills
• Find ways to manage difficult emotions
• Look at challenges as opportunities
• Practice communication skills
• Recognize that you have a choice in how you respond
• Use cognitive reframing to change thought patterns and emotional responses
• Work on accepting your emotions

3

Social Skills

True emotional understanding involves more than just understanding your own emotions and those of others. You must also be able to put this information to work in your daily interactions and communications.

Thus, being able to interact well with others is an important emotional intelligence skill. Social skills such as active listening skills, verbal and nonverbal communication skills, and persuasiveness allow you to build meaningful relationships with others and develop a stronger understanding of them and yourself.

These skills are important in the workplace as well. In professional settings, managers benefit from using social skills to build relationships and connections with employees. Workers also benefit from being able to develop a strong rapport with leaders and co-workers.

How to Improve Social Skills

• Ask open-ended questions
• Notice other people's social skills
• Practice good eye contact
• Practice your social skills
• Practice active listening
• Show interest in others
• Use icebreakers to help start conversations
• Watch your body language

 

4

Empathy

Empathy, or the ability to understand other people's feelings and see things from their point of view, is another critical emotional intelligence skill. It involves being able to recognize another person's emotional states and understand why they are experiencing them.

Being empathetic allows you to understand the power dynamics that can influence social relationships, such as those that exist between different cultures and communities. This is important for guiding your interactions with different people you encounter each day.

Those high in empathy can sense who possesses power in a relationship, and also understand how this impacts each person's feelings and behaviors. Because of this, they can better interpret situations that hinge on power dynamics.

How to Build Empathy

• Be willing to share your feelings
• Engage in a cause, such as a community project
• Listen to other people
• Practice loving-kindness meditation
• Talk to new people
• Try to imagine yourself in someone else's place

5

Motivation

People who are emotionally intelligent are motivated by things beyond external rewards like fame, money, recognition, and acclaim. Instead, they have a passion to fulfill their own inner needs and goals.

People with this emotional intelligence skill seek internal rewards, also known as intrinsic motivation. They experience flow from being totally in tune with an activity and pursue peak experiences.

Those who are competent in motivation tend to be action-oriented. They set goals, have a high need for achievement, and are always looking for ways to do better. They also tend to be very committed and are good at taking initiative.

How to Improve Motivation

• Avoid overusing extrinsic rewards
• Celebrate your results
• Focus on setting small, measurable goals
• Introduce challenges to keep things interesting.
• Set goals to help build intrinsic motivation
• Work with a friend or co-worker to foster accountability